Umami Burger (Miracle Mile)

Triple Pork Burger with Hand-Cut Fries

"Umami." The word is like a mythical creature -- a unicorn -- that came about after some guy with bad eyesight saw a horse being chucked from a two-story building. Was that for real? Does it truly exist?!

The word does exist in Japanese, but I think we food purveyors Stateside have managed to blow the description into Loch Ness-size proportions. The fifth taste? For reals?

Real or not, the owners of Bottle Rock have done well melding this hip concept with a satisfyingly gourmet burger: a juicy patty layered with high-brow selections of cob-smoked bacon and aged manchego (Triple Pork Burger); Italian truffle cheese and truffle glaze (Truffle Burger); and grated artisan cheddar (Hi-End chili Burger). Embraced with fresh vegetables and a blissfully soft bun, it's a bargain at $8-$11 (Most are $8).

What you see both above and below is the Triple Pork Burger, highly recommended by the waiter who rushed to clear off a table for Mikey and I after a feet-numbing 45 minute wait. The place is tiny, probably fitting no more than two-dozen. My recommendation: Get there before 6 pm.

There's a selection of sides -- hand-cut fries, sweet potato chips, roasted garlic potato salad -- each presented in petite Japanese lady-size portions ($2-$3). The ketchup is homemade with hints of unique spices throughout, just like the burger.

I didn't have a mind-blowing epiphany after digging into this so-called fifth taste. Though I caused my left eyebrow to twitch a little, forgetting to breathe as I inhaled my dinner in record time. Umami, unicorns, leprechauns, I dunno. But it's definitely a tasty burger.




Triple Pork Burger with onion rings


relish, on the house

Umami Burger
850 S La Brea Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90036

(323) 931-3000

Lunch at Ford's Filling Station (Culver City)

Goldilocks was onto something when she went around tasting the porridge of those three bears. One was too hot. One was too cold. One was just right. The lesson to be learned – aside from it not being cool to break into people’s homes – is that what works for some may not work for others.

For my grandma, she’s daunted by huge pieces of food set before her at your average American restaurant. She’s a tiny one, standing well below 5 feet tall in her inch-high orthopedic shoes. And she has a stomach to match. My stomach doesn’t hold much more.

So when she wanted a hamburger for lunch last Sunday I guess it was a misstep to take her to Ford’s Filling Station where portions run big. Lack of conversation let on her bewilderment as she quietly took a knife to her meal, cutting it into quarters and then eighths. She forked half over to me and Mikey. It was a passable burger for the most part – a hand-ground organic chuck smothered with blue cheese and caramelized onions – but it belonged on the plate of Papa Bear, not Baby Bear.

Down the street, the slab of meat and bun at Father’s Office is just as brawny, but mouthwateringly-juicy thanks to its dry-aged beef. The Gruyere, blue cheese and caramelized onions meld with the meat, making for a smooth, velvety burger. S. Irene Virbila isn’t a fan for that reason. I can’t get enough of it ($12; $4 cheaper than Ford’s).

We also tried the skirt steak sandwich – dressed with horseradish aioli and fried shallots – and a grilled eggplant sandwich with buratta cheese, leeks, peppers and pesto.


Blame my grinded-down molars but the steak's unrelenting nature kept me chewing and chewing (hmm, could I be as old as my grandma?). Again, a meal for Papa Bear. The eggplant was far more delicate and accompanied with a tasty red potato salad; Baby Bear for sure.

If I had a chance to offer Mr. Ford words of advice I'd tell him to change nothing. There's plenty of Papa Bears in this town. Enough to stay in business at least.

Ford's Filling Station
9531 Culver Blvd.
Culver City, CA
(310) 202-1470

8 oz. Burger (Melrose)

I've spent the past week eating that hearty miso soup I talked about earlier. It's my new diet of sorts. But with any tasty broth you're good for an hour until your stomach begs for more. "Meat!" it screamed tonight. That's what led me and Mikey to 8 oz. Burger, the new joint on Melrose Avenue by chef Govind Armstrong. Three days have passed since its opening and Armstrong just so happened to be enjoying a drink at the table next to us. With his chair facing the door, he undoubtedly had an eye on people walking in.

Mikey was the one to notice him but only later put a name to the face. If only I had known, I would've been more discreet about doing away with the top of my grass-fed burger -- eating the rest with a fork and knife.

Don't get me wrong, Armstrong has a good thing going here. As he envisioned, it's a great meal without the pretense. The patty was juicy, the onion rings, though scarce, were nicely battered, and the Kennebec fries were amazing. (Go ahead and splurge on the homemade ketchup for $1. It's worth it.). It's just that darn bun, over-sized and over-toasted, was trying to steal everyone's thunder. Mikey didn't mind, though. He rather liked it.

The burger comes medium-rare, i.e., pretty darn red, so be sure to request that it be cooked longer if you're like me with raw-meat issues. For the more faint-hearted, they also have a turkey and veggie burger options. All burgers are between $9-$11 but are fairly basic. Extra toppings — red onion marmalade, garlic roasted tomatoes, avocado, wild baby arugula and more — are $2 each.

I'd second the motion with CH-ers in speculating that as unpolished as things may seem here in these first few weeks, they'll eventually work things out. I'm rooting for them.

Onion rings; crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside.

Grass-fed beef burger with cured bacon, sauteed mushrooms and gruyere cheese.

8 Oz. Burger Bar
7661 Melrose Ave.
Los Angeles, CA
(323) 852-0008

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Their menu, courtesy of EaterLa.

26 Beach Cafe @ Venice

Okay, yeah, so this might not seem like the best follow-up to a public vow toward healthier eating. But I at least deserve Brownie points for choosing salmon over beef, right?

26 Beach Cafe is one of those places I feel very much in my element. And if you're a fan of the movie "Moulin Rouge" you might feel the same. The main dining room is like an eccentric grandma's attic filled with an odd mix of dilapidated furniture, Greek sculptures, wall murals, Christmas lights, synthetic flowers, even a rusty bird cage if my short-term memory serves me right. The waitress sits you down at an old wooden table and bench chair set and there you find yourself surveying the room while clenching onto the big fluffy cushion set beside you.

The menu reads like a typical American diner with burgers, big salads and pasta dishes, but seeing that it's not far from the Abbott Kiney stretch things here are done with a little bit more pizzazz. Today, I had the salmon-patty club stacked higher than my mouth at locked-jaw capacity. It was a tasty little thing once I realized I probably should cut it in half first. The fries weren't bad either, though ketchup was a definite must.

The night before I had In 'N Out (Okay, yes, I'm eating junk) so I wasn't ready for another burger. But don't you hate it when you're at odds with yourself between the turkey burger and that extra saucy afterall-you-only-live-once burger? Well, fish definitely satisfied both mind and stomach. The desserts are definitely worth checking out, too. Portions are huge so I like to bring a friend to share one alongside a cup of tea.

I know others have been pretty harsh on this place -- and certainly it's got nothing on Father's Office -- but ambiance goes a long way for me. And if it's between decking out people for a seat in a loud room or sitting comfortably in grandma's attic, I think I'd choose the latter.

3100 Washington Blvd.
Venice, 90292
(310) 823-7526