colon cleanse

What: Dr. Schultz's Colon Detox

The supplement: It's like a shot of highly-concentrated wheatgrass, five times a day. You can mix it with juice or water but it takes vigorous shaking to dissolve it. Be wary of thick, nasty clumps.

Cost: $60


Day one: Slight abdominal discomfort. Normal bowel movement.

Day two: 5 dumps. Each one chunky and green like the color of the supplement.

Day three: 3 dumps. Felt nauseous after drinking so much water to wash it down.

Day four: 3 dumps. A-okay.

Day five: Aborted mission after I realized I probably didn't have much else hiding in my colon. The program is geared especially toward those with chronic constipation, that which I have the opposite of. Still, I was fairly happy with the program because maybe for the first week in my life I experienced no post-food stomach pains. And I maintained solid, floating poo.